Dexter Is Dirty/Script
*(In Dexter's lab, Dexter is shown pouring an isotope into his test tube; the isotope turns yellow, and Dexter pours another isotope into the mix; the isotope turns green and the glass shakes back and forth; it then explodes, leaving green goo on Dexter's clothes, and the floor around him) *'Dexter:' Blech! I'm a mess! *(Dexter rides a conveyor belt) *'Dexter:' I might as well get this over with. *(The conveyor belt slides Dexter into a car-wash style machine; inside, giant brushes rub him, four jets wash him, two buffers clean him, and a robot dries him off with a handtowel; Dexter sparkles as the conveyor belt moves him to the edge; he flips a quarter to the robot) *'Dexter:' Keep the change. *(Cut to a rocket; wrenching sounds are heard; near the exhaust pipe, Dexter is seen reaching toward the toolbox and pulls out a wrench; more wrenching sounds and three pounds are heard; Dexter pops his head out of the pipe and looks at his gloves) *'Dexter:' I am growing weary of all this washing business. *(He is carried over to a giant dryer by a platform; Dexter jumps inside it and the dryer turns on, filling the interior halfway with water and spins Dexter around; the dryer drains all of the water and the robot races over and takes Dexter out; it whips Dexter clean; Dexter then burps out soap bubbles) *(Later, Dexter is seen working on the Robo-Dexo 2000; diry spots are seen on his face; he pulls two wires toward each other and experiences a massive shock; he pulls out from underneath the workbench and smoke flies out) *(Cut to Mom in the kitchen) *'Mom:' Dexter! Dee Dee! Lunch is ready! *(Cut to the living room; Dee Dee is seen running down the stairs) *'Dee Dee:' Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! *(The living room mat is pushed up by a tube Dexter is in; Dexter himself has a cloud of dust surrounding his lower body) *'Dexter:' Wait for me! *(Cut into the kitchen) *'Mom:' Okay, you two, let's see those hands. *(Dee Dee shows Mom her hands, which appear to be fairly clean) *'Mom:' Very good, Dee Dee. *(Mom walks over to Dexter; his gloves appear to be dirty; two flies are surrounding them) *'Mom:' *gasps* Dexter! You're a mess! You march in there and wash up this instant! *'Dexter:' But I'm hungry... *(Mom leans down toward his face) *'Mom:' March! *(Dexter storms to the bathroom while mumbling; he slams the door shut; later, he comes out of the bathroom and goes into the kitchen continuing to mumble; Mom is seen washing the dishes; Dee Dee walks by) *'Dee Dee:' Thanks, Mom! That was great! *(Dexter heads toward the sink and watches in dismay as his lunch gets sent down the drain; he walks into the living room frustrated) *'Dexter:' Ooh...! *(He jumps onto the couch with his arms folded; ''The Puppet Pals are heard in the background; Mom walks by'') *'Mom:' Dex, it's time for your bath! *'Dexter:' But I'll miss my show! *(Mom again gets close in his face) *'Mom:' *loudly* DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, YOUNG MAN! JUST DO IT! *(She walks away in a cheery mood; Dexter stomps up the stairs grumbling; Dee Dee is shown standing in the middle of the hall with a bar of soap on the floor; she is also seen sopping wet; Dexter walks onto the bar of soap and slips backward) *'Dexter:' Dee Dee! *'Dee Dee:' Hey, Dexter, are you gonna get squeaky clean like me? *(She plugs her fingers into her ears and twists them, producing a rubbing sound; she then pulls her fingers out of her ears) *(There is a short pause; Dexter stomps to the bathroom while unintelligentibly shouting; Dee Dee teleports away) *(In the bathroom, Dexter is seen taking a bath) *'Dexter:' I must figure out a way to eliminate bathing from my life forever! But how? *(He sinks into his bubble bath; Dee Dee teleports in front of the tub; Dexter pops out) *'Dee Dee:' Hello, O disgusting dirty one. You dropped this downstairs. *(She drops a card into the bathwater and teleports away; Dexter digs under the water and pulls it out) *'Dexter:' Hey, it is my laminated lab access card! *(The front of the card is shown and water is seen sliding right off of it) *'Dexter:' Hmm... The water just slides right off. *(He gets an idea) *'Dexter:' That's it! *(He gets out of the tub and attempts to run to the lab, but slips on a puddle of water) *(Inside the lab, Dexter is seen standing inside the Laminatrix; a halo is seen going down the tube; a monitor shows Dexter's body overlapping the lab access card; it then reads, "INTIGRATION PROCESS ACTIVATED"; the doors to the Laminatrix close and the machine activates; several tubes fill up with laminate and head toward the Laminatrix; everything stops and Dexter comes out; he appears with a glossy shield) *'Dexter:' Eureka! I am laminated! *(He gets a look at his body) *'Dexter:' Ooh, I'm so shiny! *(He steps out of the Laminatrix, slides across the floor, and crashes into the Waste Spooge; the waste slides off of Dexter) *'Dexter:' I am free! No more cleaning for me! Now back to my work. *(He starts moving, but doesn't go anywhere; he stops after a few moments and pulls out a remote) *'Dexter:' In minor inconvenience... *(He presses the button and a fan starts up; the gust of wind pushes him over to the test tube table; Dexter turns the fans off) *(Dexter picks up one of the test tubes, but it slides out of his hand and hits the floor; he picks up the flask, and that falls to the floor; Dexter thinks and pulls out a pincher, but it slides out of his hand and bounces off the table; in frustration, Dexter attempts to kick the pincher, but ends up flipping over and landing on his back) *(Dee Dee leans in from the left) *'Dee Dee:' Hi, Dexter! Ooh, Dexter, you're so smooth and shiny. *'Dexter:' Well, don't just stand there! Help me out! *(Dee Dee picks Dexter up and loses her grip with him; she manages to catch Dexter, but he slides out of her hands and hits the floor hard) *'Dexter:' *talking very quickly* Dee Dee, you are so stupid! Can't you do anything right? I asked you to do one thing! You're so incompotent! *(Dexter is heard saying "blah" while Dee Dee stares at him; she has a thought, which appears to show Dee Dee in a toboggan at the top of a snowy hill) *'Dee Dee:' Odel-ah-hoo-hoo! *(Her voice echoes and she rides down the hill; cut back to present time, she smiles) *'Dexter:' And furthermore, I'm tired of y... Uh, Dee Dee, why are you looking at me like that? *(Dee Dee grabs Dexter and rides him; cut to the emergency exit, the door opens; Dee Dee laughs while Dexter looks on terrified) *'Dexter:' Dee Dee, stop us! *(They enter the emergency exit and land on top of a giant slide; Dexter screams while Dee Dee continues to laugh in excitement) *(They exit the slide; Dee Dee lets go of Dexter; Dexter ricochets around the living room destroying everything he collides with; he stops bouncing and a messy living room is shown) *'Mom:' Dexter! *(She walks toward him with an angry look on her face, but changes her expression when she gets closer) *'Mom:' Just look how clean you are! *(She kisses Dexter; Dexter turns his face to show the kiss mark, but it slides off) Category:Episode transcripts Category:Transcripts Category:Season 2 transcripts